The act of self love can be a hard road. We are told to love ourselves, have high self esteem and so on, but at the same time we are fed toxic content, taught to hate, and judged based on thousand year old box thinking. How is it possible to love ourselves with all this?
I have walked down that road and sometimes use reminders of self love. There are lots of ways you can go about this, but I can share 6 to get you started. These are not block buster solutions, these are the way we see things each day, which, of course, are block buster solutions.
6 Transformative methods for self love
1. Make it a point to be someone who spreads love
If you’re currently not feeling the self-love vibes, don’t stress about making a giant leap to become a self-love guru overnight. Building up self-love is like working those muscles – it takes a bit of regular practice. Instead of fixating on loving yourself, shift your focus to being someone who radiates love. Let love flow through you whenever you can. Pay attention to the positive aspects of the people you meet, find things to appreciate during your grocery run, in meetings, or just chatting with someone. Essentially, dial up your positive emotions by spotting as many things to love and appreciate as possible. It can be anything. Something goophy, cute, or even dumb. I always spend time giggling my ass off over uttter silliness!
2. Get a taste of what it’s like to be cherished
Being kind to ourselves is a breeze when everything is going according to plan, and life is all rainbows, puppies, chocolate cake, bouncing balls and unicorns. But when things hit the fan, and splatters, and we mess up or face rejection, showing ourselves love becomes a tougher challenge. Yikes!!
In those tricky moments, try imagining how someone who deeply loves you would react. What would they say? How would they behave? Chances are, they wouldn’t unleash criticism or judgment on you; instead, they’d offer kindness, compassion, and acceptance. If you can’t summon a specific person or memory, picture how the most loving soul on Earth would treat you. Then, practice showering that kindness on yourself. After all, you are a person, at least, I hope.
3. Lean on your internal GPS for assistance
Think of your emotions as your personal guidance system. Feeling good about yourself? It means your thoughts align with how your inner self sees you. Feeling down? It’s a signal that you need to shift your perspective. That’s right, your soul/inner self is never down. That is a human condission.
If you catch yourself thinking, “I am a dum dumb, lowly, a failiar, or a monkey looking catfish” and it feels icky, it’s time for a thought makeover. Swap it with something gentler. For instance, replace “I’m so lost and confused” with “I’m doing my best to move forward.” Remember, doing your best with the knowledge you have is the truth.
4. Hang out with folks who lift you up
And I don’t mean people who actually lift you up over their head, unless you trust them like that. Consider Jim Rohn’s famous words: “You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.” Reflect on your top five buddies. Do they uplift you, fill your cup, and genuinely want the best for you? Think…think…think.
Just because you’ve been friends forever doesn’t mean you’re stuck with each other. Taking a break doesn’t spell the end. Be choosy about who you share your time with. spend it with those who genuinely inspire you. Otherwise, maybe it’s time to reconsider, bounce, cut them off, say “kick rocks” or what ever your favored method is. .
5. Delay your worry and negative thoughts
Consider how much of your worrying actually serves a purpose. Sure, a bit of it kicks your ass into gear, but I bet most of it is just useless. When those negative thoughts pop up, politely tell them, “Thanks, but I’ll tackle this next week/month.” By setting a date, you put a damper on those negative thoughts’ momentum. Rinse and repeat each month. You tell the worry to “KICK ROCKS”!
6. Embrace what you can’t quite love
Now, this is some real talk! This is the thing I had real issues with. Loving those parts of yourself that you’re not thrilled about is no walk in the park. So, instead of forcing love onto those aspects (which might just make your mind rebel), focus on accepting them. Yes, just accept them. You do not have to love each and every tiny hair about you, however, its important to accept yourself whole. Acceptance does not mean agree. We are all human and we all have things that we just can’t quite love. Its OK.
Self love is an up and down dance, but as long as you show love, hang out with those who love, and accept the parts of self you do not love, you will actually go far on the love train of self.
Taking the next step
I invite you to make a pledge to yourself. Make a pledge that you will step into your power, you can read, download and sign this agreement with self.