How would your life change if you felt more confident? Think about it. Does it feel good? As a coach, I speak about confidence all the time. Today is no different.
In a previous article, I put forth 7 ways to pump that confidence up, and now I will give you 7 more to add to that. Write them down, take action on them, and see what happens. If there are particular areas that challenge your self-confidence, let’s talk about it.
Confidence is the belief in the power, abilities or skills of a person.
You can be confident about some things and not others. Your confidence level may change from time to time. We all have those days where we are not feeling our best. Just like anything else, sometimes you need to take steps to maintain and further sure up that confidence.
Things such as looking at your talents, challenging negative thoughts, and staying away from low vibrating people will go a long way to maintaining yourself. Let’s look at even more steps that you can take to be more attractive, go further in life, and channel happiness, all by kicking up your self-confidence.
Yes, that’s right, be grateful. One of the foundational things you can do to kick up that confidence score board is to look at all the points you already have, and just simply be grateful. Each night, while in bed, I give thanks for having a bed to sleep in. I am grateful for my own place, good friends, and watermelon Arizona ice tea.
When I walk in the light of all the things I already have, I feel more confident in who I am. Practicing gratitude is part of living in abundance focused energy, instead of lack focused energy. You can try this free gratitude package to help you out.
2. Positive talk
Over the time that I have been coaching, it is amazing to me just how many people think negative thoughts about themselves. Yes, I, like others, have done this. Negative talk is one of the key ways that we smother our self-confidence. How are you supposed to believe in yourself when you always tell yourself all the things you can’t do, or how weird you are.
Developing self-confidence takes a level of self-acceptance. Even if you make a mistake, you do not let that shake your sense of yourself. In the 7 pathways article, I spoke about challenging your negative thoughts, E.G. I am not good in math.
In this case, it’s deeper than that. Even if you are not good at something, so what! Even if you do not have some of the superficial things that others do, so what! Remember, you have things that others don’t. Stay positive about the person you are, and believe in your own genuine goodness and capability.
3. Create a signature style
We are all individuals, and we want to be treated as such. One of the ways to ensure you will be seen as the unique person you are is to have a personal signature. Develop a personal style that fits you. Nothing gets the confidence juices flowing more than genuine pride in one’s self.
As I mentioned before, you should always strive to look your best. Be well groomed; pick clothes that fit, and so on. Within that well-dressed framework, what is your own style? What kinds of clothes really fit your personality?
Do you have a signature fragrance? I have gone through this journey. My search for my signature fragrance had me bouncing around on 34th street in New York City checking out different colognes. With each visit to a shop, I would spray different fragrances on different parts of me, then go home, let the sent set with my body chemistry, decide, then back to 34th street and repeat. I also did some online research. It worked!
I did not have to go through quite the science and chemistry crash course when deciding and developing my dressing style, but that is key as well.
When you create your personal style, become known for something genuine, you will feel much more confident, and will attract others as well, which, of course, will build more confidence.
4. Walk and talk with purpose
We all know the importance of good posture. Stand up straight and so on. While we are standing all erect, we also need to walk like we mean it. When you walk into a room, walk in like you belong there. If it’s a meeting, I usually claim the front. It is not a very hard choice.
Making these minor decisions about seemingly small things will get you in the practice of making purposeful choices, and acting on them. It will also make you look more confident to others. Always act with purpose with all your movements.
The same can be said for how you speak. Many shy or insecure people speak in a low, unsure volume. To cultivate confidence, be sure you speak at natural voice level. I do not mean scream, just talk at regular volume.
To master this, record your voice so you can hear what other people are hearing. Sometimes we do not realize just how much our voice gives away what our confidence level is. Remember to deep breathe. Most of us do not breathe deep into our diaphragm; we keep a chest breathing habit. Just like breathing, we also speak from our chest instead of speaking from our diaphragm. When we bring our voice up from the deeper part of our body, it will naturally be louder and sound more confident. Speak from deep.
5. Keep rhetorical reserves
In the spirit of having a personal signature, always have stories and jokes at the ready. When you are able to interact in social settings effectively, you will boost your confidence. People like to hear stories, good jokes, and other unique things. When you know you have something to offer, it feels great. Of course, you must first know what those stories are. Think back over your life, and pick out some fun or cool things that have happened to you. Maybe you have some unique situation that you can share that will give them a new prospective on something.
Despite the fact that I am a speaker and coach, and many of my clients hire me for interpersonal communication, I am really an introvert, and had to learn to be more open myself. Telling stories and yuk yuking it up in social settings did not come easy. Once I got into the mind-set, it got easier. I became more confident when I knew I had many things to bring to the social table.
6. Walk around nude
Yes, take it all off. Walk around your house in your birthday suit. Part of feeling confident is feeling confident with your body. When I say be confident in your body, I don’t mean just gawk at yourself in the mirror, although that is great for body appreciation, walking around nude gets you fully into the element of self-confidence.
Shame is one of the things that hold us back from being confident and loving ourselves. I pretty much have always been into some home nudity, and benefit from it. This may not seem like it would work on the face of it, but confidence is partly fueled on self-comfort, the lowering of shame, and a genuine love of your physically natural state.
7. Just do it
Sometimes, we just have to do it. No questions, no second guesses, just get up, get out, and do it. This can go for confidence as well.
Sometimes we get caught up with this idea that we are not confident. We dwell on how much confidence we lack. Well, get up tomorrow, do not think about how much confidence you lack, and just go about your day. This is close to “fake it till you make it” but a step deeper. Don’t even think about confidence, cliché phrases or anything. Don’t worry about what self-confidence is, just be self-confident. That may sound easier said than done, but that’s just because we tell ourselves that.
Read more tips, Start building your confidence!
You can get all 14 tips, the confidence worksheet questions and more from the full “Core Confidence Training Booklet”.