We all have it to one degree or another. Some let it control their lives, and some look it in the eye and move forward anyway. That something is fear. Dictionary.com defines fear as “a distressing emotion aroused by impending danger, evil, pain, etc., whether the threat is real or imagined; the feeling or condition of being afraid”.
This is one of the most powerful “F” words around. Fear can freeze us, make us turn back, second guess, run and hide, and other back flips. People have a whole host of different fears. Fear of meeting new people, public speaking, clowns, insects, flying, your wife’s cooking, death, taxes, water, dogs, your in-laws, Trump, Obama, and more.
Fear is like a broken record, playing the song called “what if”. What if I give this speech and royally mess up? What if I go on this date and she does not like me? What if I forget the lines in the play? What if I look stupid in front of your mammy? What if the cat attacks the mailman?
Fear of Success
There are many people that have a fear of success. Yes, that’s right, a fear of success. This may look odd, but it is true. Many would understand having a fear of failure, but why fear success? Many people fear success because…
- 1. Change is scary. It is easy to kick back, chill on autopilot, and fly around your comfort zone.
- 2. People will expect you to succeed again. The pressure of people watching you and putting expectations on you can be scary. This can create the double fear of both failure and success.
- 3. More attention. When you succeed, you will get more attention, and for some, this is a new and scary development.
- 4. You wonder if you can do it again. When you succeed, you may wonder whether the first time was luck, and you may question whether you can do it again.
- 5. You do not want to conform. When a person succeeds, they may feel that they may have to conform to things that they do not want to.
Witch one of these do you identify with the most? I have definitely felt number 2 and 5. How do you deal with it? How do you get around it?
Flip the “If”
You must stair down this fear. I know you have goals and passions that you want to pursue. In order to reach those goals, you must succeed at over powering the fear of success. Like many people, as I moved through life getting closer to my goals, the fear factor stood naked before me. Every time I took a step forward, I was grabbed by the tentacles of fear.
Sometimes, the cold stare of this monster froze me in my seat. How do I deal with this? How do I break free of the vice grip? I decided to flip the “If”. I decided to take all those repeating questions and turn them around. I made myself answer the flipside.
- What if I fail at my goal flips to What if I do not follow my dreams?
- What if I suck at this speech flips to What if I miss out on helping my audience?
- What if I perform bad at that event flips to What if I do not take that opportunity?
- What if nobody likes me flips to What if I miss out on meeting that one key person?
What I did was turn the fear around and became afraid of not following my path. If I do not step out and present myself to the world, then I will spend my life wishing I did. I would spend my life in regret mode. Could I live like that? Could I live knowing that I passed up a chance to move forward? Could you?
What if you did this?
What if you looked at fear and flipped it? What if you took one step each day to get closer to your goals? How would that effect your life? What if you succeeded at braving success? How would that make you feel?
Take a fear, flip the scenario. Keep a list of your favorite quotes. Keep people around you who inspire you as they move forward.
Stand up to fear and anxiety!
You do not have to allow anxiety and lack of confidence to hold you back from being your true self. Lets have a conversation about how you can release the bonds of self-doubt so you can attract the relationships, success and lifestyle you desire. Its clutch time! Contact me!