As humans, we have a few basic instinctual needs. We have the need to eat. This maintains our life and gives us energy. We have the instinct for self-preservation. That is where things like “fight or flight” come in. Our body and mind tries to keep us safe in other ways, such as forgetting traumatic incidents and so on.
Not only does the body help us live, but it drives us to create more of us. We have a primal drive to continue our species, and we do that through sex. There is a never ending debate on which drive is the strongest between hunger and sex. Regardless of which one wins on any given day, sex is required if more humans are to populate this earth.
The Purposes of sex
We all know that one of the main reasons for sex is to procreate, but sex has other purposes as well. Sex allows us to feel pleasure and bond with another person. Sex allows us to express deep feelings, allows us to relax, and contributes to good health and a sense of self.
Sex is one of the most powerful abilities that a person can have. It plays a role in many areas of a person’s life, both physically and psychologically. The lack of sex can contribute to low self-esteem and feelings of inadequacy. Many people use masturbation to replace or supplement sex. Masturbation is a healthy way to release built up sexual tension; add to playtime with a partner, or to show yourself appreciation.
The power of sex serves us best when we are aware of our own sexuality. Being aware of what we like and what turns us on is vital to a healthy sense of self. We should be aware of any unhealthy triggers or addictions so that we may overcome them. Just like we should be aware of our own sex ups and downs, we should also be able to discuss sex openly with a partner. Sex works best when partners are on the same page. If you find that a partner is not sexually compatible, then you are in a better position to guide the future of that relationship.
When sexuality is hidden or repressed, all kinds of problems will spring up.
- 1. You may feel shame or guilt for your preferences
- 2. Addictions may go unaddressed
- 3. You may experience major relationship issues around communication, fidelity, and overall satisfaction.
The power of sex requires that we act responsible. Sex power is best used in an honest, respectful and positive way. We should respect other people’s right to have their preferences as we expect the same in return.
Sexual relationships work best when we are with somebody who we want to be with, and who wants to be with us. It works best when partners leave their issues and stress outside, and use sex to reconnect with each other.
Beliefs about sex
There are those whose faith gives them certain rules and ways to handle sex. There are beliefs that instruct their followers against masturbation and phantasy. Personally, I believe that sex and self pleasure is a totally natural human drive that should be enjoyed, not abused, by responsible adults, but if you choose to follow sex restrictive belief systems, you still need to become aware of who you are sexually. You still need to communicate your beliefs and preferences arounds sex. Doing otherwise is both unfair to you, and anybody you get involved with. Just because you may prefer to wait till marriage does not mean you can be lax in communicating your needs.
The spirit of sex
Sex is natural. One of the most natural things to do on the planet. Humans are not the only ones to have sex for pleasure. Sex drive is a spectrum that both men and women can fall along. You can like the opposite gender, the same, or both. As we move forward, the idea of more than two genders has been presented. Understand that this is all part of the sexual continuum.
Sex is about two souls coming together to express love, or to enjoy each other’s company. Remember, we are spiritual beings having a human experience, so human sexuality does not conform to the earthly rules we make up. Good honest open sex contributes to over all life enjoyment.
I ask that you open your mind to your own sexuality. I ask that you get clear on who you are and what you like sexually. I ask you to openly communicate to your partner about your shared intimit life. I ask that you continue to work on unhealthy addictions and triggers so that you may clear your system of sex shame. I ask that you live as your whole self. Your sexual self is not some separate dirty naughty thing; your sexual self is part of your whole self. Your penis is not some filthy autonomous devil; it is a part of who you are.
Enjoy sex, enjoy love, and enjoy yourself!
If you want to break out of your comfort zone, gain confidence to meet the right people so you can have great sex, I can help you communicate better and break sex stigmas.